White minimalist walls with a touch of wooden textures and earth-toned accents. Hanging lights. Boho carpets. Barn doors. Ah, just a few features I’d like to incorporate in my own home. A 150-sqm land with an A-framed high-ceiling bungalow house and a wide yard where my (future) kids would run around and my husband and I would lay under the cloudless skies to watch them.
WOW. I finally have a dream too vivid I’d actually wanna fast forward to this phase in my lifeline. It doesn’t matter how simple – big or small – I now have a concrete dream, and I have the love of my life to share it with. One of many. Baby steps.
All my life I never had a clear vision of what’s gonna be; I always wanted to surprise myself, guided by what I only perceive as ‘outlines’. Growing up, I never knew I was going to be an engineer either, until I became one. I wanted to have a family of my own, a house and perhaps a car, financial stability (by any means) — voila! I have myself a “future”. That was how vague it used to be.
Maybe I didn’t want to disappoint myself. Maybe I dreamed less because I didn’t believe in myself enough, or worse, God. Maybe I did not know where to put my hope upon, hence the insecurity of a future. And maybe because I was too consumed by my responsibilities, I forgot to dream for myself, too.
But lo and behold, life is absolutely full of surprises! Being entirely oblivious about it – slow and steady – life was moving forth into the direction of my blurry offing. And beyond its silent creeping is a bittersweet path which filled (and continues to fill) me with so much growth and wisdom. This is definitely God’s doing!
I’m not there yet. I’m not even sure if I’m halfway through. I’m basically still crawling my way up that rocky mountain, with God being my harness, my family, my climbing holds, and Karlos by my side, making his way to the top, too. It’s not gonna be a smooth climb, but it’s not an impossible one. And I’m not gonna let any boulder hinder our way to keep moving, dreaming, and soaring higher.
It is never – I repeat, NEVER – too late to dream and hook that big fish! And with God’s faithfulness, we certainly have nothing to worry. Oh, I still have brimming responsibilities to my family which are still and yet my priority; but I have learned that it is not selfish to envision and even slowly enliven my personal aspirations, too. It is okay to aim higher, treading by God’s guidance and provision. And in His time – His perfect and specific time – we can make real all these dreams. Lastly, let us not forget to be kind to ourselves.
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.Ecclesiastes 3:1
Life is not a race; enjoy your nows and walk your pace.